My son asked the chipotle for the other night dinner and I couldn’t.
I didn’t mean to say, “Sorry, but I don’t have money” – again. So, this time I said something different: “If you want chipotle, we must work for it.”
I explained to him that I have to supply a couple of uber eating Uber to pay chipotle. Thankfully, I was excited about the adventure in my 14-year-old age, and this did not understand how many moms did not feed their children.
But this is my norm, because in Connecticut, my salaryor, like Freelancer and teacher, does not end next – especially the growing rent and three children grow. The cost of living is already becoming more difficult.
I’m so damn.
I feel I failed as a mother
46 I thought I did it so far – what it means. I thought it was a little financial cushion to facilitate financial burden, past salary or husband. I have none of me. I’m ashamed of our Zero credit cards, savings or retirement plans.
Instead, it is the worries of all. My money worries steal valuable moments from the bottom of my nose. My kids come home from school with stories and smiles and I also nod, But I’m really there. I am on the turn of the wheels, I try to think this month will pay and leave this month, and I try to pray that the bank will pray that my household will rent late.
I wake up every day and try not to put the money (or deficiency) but I failed every day. I fought with insufficient and guilty thoughts because I can’t provide my children what I know.
We are all more deserving. I need a root channel and the tooth begins to hurt, but my current health insurance does not cover it, so I try to deal with an additional $ 600 to the additional $ 600, or the damned tooth. My daughter needs a prom dress; My son grew up to three inches and needs a completely new wardrobe. Everyone who has children knows that every day brings this new, unexpected costs.
Thankfully, children spend half of their fathers covering the most costs. But it is embarrassed and feels guilty.
I envy other families who do not have to deal with money issues
I add the items in my basket to make sure that the grocery hallers are more than the bank’s balance. We had to significantly cut the groceries for growing prices recently.
I also look at other mothers and dads: they do not calculate their overlapping carts and their faces in their faces, and the airline in their ears. When we do not have these concerns, we live like this, make me angry and sad.
I try to convince myself that life, beautiful restaurants, new comfortable shoes, or like grocery carts, such as ice cream and shrimp, do not belong to material things.
I still have happiness and I started it
He recently said to my son’s sister, “Moms are magical, isn’t it?”
Some moments like this convinces that I can do something and pass all these difficulties.
I remind myself that we bless our head on a drop, on the table and our health. These are the times we are rich in ways.
I knew this, Uber’s food with my son. Therefore, it was an adventure and an opportunity to win anything he wants. While leaving, it was an opportunity to enjoy us do This money cannot really get: laughter, health and love.
We broke us, but I was happy for the happiness for these three Ubers – and we laughed all the time. It just happens that Chipotel has a taste of even more.
Perhaps it is full of comfortable story and financial stability of my tomorrow – or my wealth comes in the form of health and love.
